School starts next week?!

Surviving Middle School

A blog for middle school students, parents, teachers, coaches,

counselors, staff, administrators, and anyone else interested in coping with life’s challenges

___________________________________________________________________

School starts next week?!

Yep, I can't believe it either. It seems like we were just wrapping up the school year and saying goodbye to students and staff. Where did the summer break go?

I hope that everyone had a great summer filled with long sunny days, late nights, and fun family adventures. Ready or not, school starts next week!

Like me, you may be filled with both excitement and nervousness over the new school year; excited to see old friends and new faces, excited to be one year closer to high school, excited to finally be able to play school sports, excited to have new teachers/students, excited to be challenged, and nervous about the the same new things. This post is about getting yourself ready for the new school year, whether you're a student, parent, or staff member.

Sleep
If you haven't already done so, start getting back into school routines of bedtimes and mornings. Don't wait until Sunday night/Monday morning to get back into the earlier bedtimes and wake times. Some of the students I tutored this summer took advantage of the longer summer days to stay up late playing computer games or watching TV. Now is the time to get your body's circadian rhythms back into school mode. As a parent and teacher, I can see the effects on students (and myself) of not getting enough sleep. Set the pattern now for the school year by getting more sleep BEFORE school starts.

Open House
Most schools have an open house the week before. Go! Seeing any changes to the school, new classrooms, and new teachers helps alleviate some of the anxiety students and parents might be feeling. There is something comforting about knowing where you or your student will be next week and putting together faces with names. Open house is also when students pick up their course schedules, supply lists, agendas, and learn about sports/clubs and school expectations.

Goals Setting
Families are busy and a new school year brings many new opportunities and even busier schedules. No matter what happened last year, the new school year is an opportunity to start fresh. Goals help students and families anchor their year and set out on new pathways. BEFORE, the first day, sit down as a family to talk about goals and schedules for the new school year. During the first week, my 7th grade students will create a mind map of their goals for this school year. I think it's important to realize that success in school and learning is more than just academics.

I have students create goals and strategies for academics, health, social, and life. Academic goals can be a mix of longterm (ex. I'll pass the 7th grade) or short term (ex. I'll get on the 1st quarter honor roll). Academic goals might also be very specific (ex. I'll complete all math assignments by their due date). Health goals might include playing school sports, exercising, healthy eating, and sleeping well. If you have a tendency to stay up playing video games, sleep might be a great goal to set for this school year. Social goals might include meeting new students, joining a club, or sitting with different people each week at lunch. Life goals are things to improve your life. These could include spending more time with family or friends or trying something totally new (ex. art, music, photography, coding). Below are some of my goals for this school year...

www.mindmup.com

First Week of School
The first days of school are important, exciting, and tough at the same time. It's exciting to see old friends, meet new teachers and students, and to start your path to your best school year ever. I hope that this blog will help you make that a reality! Attending the school's open house and checking the school's website will help you prepare for the first week of school. Here are some additional tips for starting the first week off well:

• Get enough sleep every night
• Eat a decent breakfast
• Pack your backpack (and lunch) the night before
• Come prepared with supplies
• Smile!
• Greet each other
• Ask for help
• Follow expectations
• Compliment others
• Share your day with family and friends

So, I invite you to share your questions, concerns, and back-to-school experiences in the comments sections. Let's have a GREAT YEAR!

Volunteering

Surviving Middle School

A blog for middle school students, parents, teachers, coaches,

counselors, staff, administrators, and anyone else interested in coping with life’s challenges

___________________________________________________________________

Giving Back by Volunteering

As I write this post, I keep getting notifications of yet more violence throughout the world. Most conversations inevitably drift toward the daily tragedies that are affecting the United States and other countries. It's very easy to ride the emotional rollercoaster from disbelief to anger to fear to sadness to depression, often ending in feelings of hopelessness. I don't want to focus on the tragedies but rather on attacking this feeling of hopelessness.

Last week at our small church group meeting, one person expressed a sincere desire to do something - anything - to make the world better, but he was at a complete loss as to how to proceed. I think all in attendance had similar feelings but brought different perspectives from our own personal experiences. I hope to share some of what we discussed and possibly help give you some hope for the future. Our focus turned to volunteering and giving back to others. You want to help those in need but aren't sure where to start and not sure you even have enough time or energy to do anything if you could. Here are some tips to help you and your family make a difference.

Middle schoolers are at a unique age where they really begin to develop their own identity separate from their parents and their family. There is an extreme focus on "me", which is an important part of human development. However, there is a tendency toward extreme self awareness, sometimes to the expense of awareness of others. Volunteering as a family can be a great way to help middle schoolers develop their own identity and also become more aware of how they, as individuals, relate to the rest of the world.

Start locally and share your passions and talents.
I think there are two key elements to make the most out of volunteering: 1) start with your own area, and 2) volunteer doing things you like to do or are good at. You are more likely get engaged in whatever you do and more likely to sustain your interest.

Even locally, most won't even know what the needs are unless you investigate and ask. Some places to start:

• Neighborhood: Many neighborhoods have a homeowner's association (HOA). I've been on the Board of Directors of our HOA for two years. We've spent a lot of energy just keeping the neighborhood running but have started to explore ways to do more. Volunteering in your own community can be a great way to get to know your neighbors and build positive, friendly relationships. Just imagine the relationship that can be built by offering to do the following:
• mow a neighbor's yard who isn't able to during the hot summer months.
• walk a neighbor's dog
• bring cold water to neighbors who are working outside
• pick up trash
• pick up groceries for neighbors who can't get to the store
• give rides to the store or library
• give swim lessons if your neighborhood has a pool
• babysit
• tutor or give homework help
• teach music lessons
• start a book club
• create a "welcome basket" for new homeowners
• share a meal

• Library: Local libraries can be a great place to volunteer your time and talents. Many offer summer story time and are always looking for volunteers to read. Our local library offers all kinds of different free programs for the whole family (see below). Even if you don't feel comfortable leading a program, you can always volunteer to help set up or assist with activities. I've also seen many use the library for their tutoring sessions. If your neighborhood uses social media (Facebook, Nextdoor), you can volunteer your time by just posting upcoming library events that you think your neighbors might enjoy.
  
  
•  

• Town/City: Expand your search to see what volunteering opportunities are available in your town or city. Our town of Creedmoor has a great way to build community relationships with local police by volunteering to be part of the Citizens Police Academy. Our mayor occasionally posts requests for volunteer opportunities on his Facebook page. Local schools are always looking for community volunteers for the PTA, tutoring, field trips, and special projects around the school. Local businesses and workers have donated time and resources to help build playgrounds, beautify schools, and replace aging equipment that otherwise wouldn't be possible on tight public school budgets. Another place to look for volunteering is through local churches. Even if you aren't affiliated with a particular church or denomination, they are always looking for volunteers, especially for community outreach like food/clothing drives.

For parents, are their ways that your businesses can do volunteer, pro bono work, or
help those reach needed resources? Our church group friend is a realtor and former
builder. We talked about how he might be able to help those who haven't ever
dreamed of owning their own home find funding for affordable housing (HUD, USDA
loans, etc).

• Metroplex: Bigger towns and cities often have organizations that help match volunteers with volunteering opportunities. I want to give a shout out to the Durham Rescue Mission which has volunteering opportunities for all ages throughout the year and does a tremendous amount for Durham. My kids and their mom have done a little of everything for the Durham Rescue Mission from donating clothing to the stores, to making and distributing easter baskets, sorting food in the food pantry, and serving food. Additionally, they run homeless shelters, addiction recovery programs and back-to-school programs throughout the Research Triangle area.

Durham Rescue Mission

Here's a list of other volunteering resources in the Raleigh-Durham area:

• The Triangle Nonprofit & Volunteer Leadership Center
• Hands on Triangle
• Durham Wayfinders (Cultural Arts)
• Habitat for Humanity Durham
• Wake Gov Volunteers
• Activate Good
• City of Raleigh Volunteers (has links for Meals on Wheels, Wake Interfaith Hospitality Network, Greenway volunteering, and many others)

So, there are many ways to make your world a better place by working with your family to improve lives and living in your own communities. Even if you help one person, that person is in a better place than if you did nothing at all. Don't look at things from a birds eye view. Look at it from a worm's eye view.

I'd love for you to share your volunteering stories by posting them in the comments. Stay cool and give back.

Traveling with Teens

Surviving Middle School

A blog for middle school students, parents, teachers, coaches,

counselors, staff, administrators, and anyone else interested in coping with life’s challenges

___________________________________________________________________

Traveling with Teens

When I was in middle school, I lived overseas in Saudi Arabia and was able to travel a lot with my family. My dad was a chemical engineer for ARAMCO in Ras Tanura on the Persian Gulf. Expats had to take "mental leave" vacations each year -often for 3-4 weeks. I was able to visit many countries in Europe and Asia, and saw a bit of the United States. I remember learning all the ins and outs of travel including dealing with different currencies, languages, foods, and social customs. I also learned to appreciate other cultures, but all the while appreciating our own American culture. Now that I'm an adult and public school teacher, I haven't had as much opportunity to travel with my family as I'd like, but we're saving up for a family trip next year.

My goal was to post every Monday, but last week my wife and I were in Playa del Carmen, Mexico for our friends' destination wedding. We haven't traveled abroad in five years, and we kept saying "Why didn't we bring that?" or "why didn't we do that?" Also, our kids weren't with us and I kept wondering what it would have been like having them with us at an all-inclusive beach resort. So, I thought a blog about traveling with teens might be interesting and helpful. I hope that you'll share you own experiences and suggestions in the comments section. While we didn't travel with teens, we saw many teens during our trip. What follows are our blunders and suggestions.

Pets & Plants

Even before we started our trip, we had to figure out complicated plans for tending to 2 dogs (one is in diapers, one is HIGH energy), 5 needy cats, 8 or so fish, and the outdoor plants subject to North Carolina summers. There is no way we could afford to board all of them, and our 11.5 year old corgi, Jewel, needs some special care. Ideally, we might have hired someone just to stay in the house. During graduate school, I used to housesit for some professors at Texas A&M, but I don't really know how to set that up here with a trustworthy person. Anyone tried this?

Here's what we did:

- Gus went to the "Canine Run Suite" at his vet.

- Jewel went to my fellow teacher's house who has cats and dogs, including one also in diapers.

- The cats, fish, and plants were tended to by two awesome, teenaged sisters from our neighborhood.

We returned to happy pets and plants, and it really didn't cost much. Plus, we now have reliable teenage house-sitters for short vacations!

Airport Parking

Airports aren't fun, and parking is often the last thing you remember that you have to deal with. The Raleigh Durham airport has many different parking options including: Premier (next to terminal for $18/day), Central (walking distance to terminal for $14/day), and Economy (bus to terminal for $7/day). I've tried all of those and each has their advantages and disadvantages. This year we tried a private parking service near the airport called FastPark. You park and their van picks you up right at your car and drops you off at your terminal. During normal travel hours, FastPark has waiting shuttles at the airport for your return. We actually returned at 3am and had to call them. Their shuttle arrived in only about five minutes to take us directly to our car. Fast, convenient, and it only cost $6.36/day. Plus, FastPark has rewards for frequent parkers, I mean travelers. Any other options you've tried?

Airport Rigamarole

Delta recommended that international travelers arrive at least three hours early. We checked in and printed our boarding passes at home (highly recommended!). Since we didn't have any checked bags, we breezed through security. We actually waited longer in the Starbucks line than we did in security. FYI, Starbucks mobile orders don't work in airport :-(. However, we noticed there were very long, slow lines for those checking their bags. In fact, friends traveling to the same wedding barely made it on time since they were in a bag check line whose attendant decided to just walk off, leaving confused, anxious travelers. Another minor hurdle.... on the way back, I tried to check in early, but the app wouldn't let me. We contacted Delta and they told me I was randomly selected to undergo more intensive screening before boarding the plane. Actually I'm glad we knew before it happened so I wasn't surprised when I got pulled and I made sure that I didn't have the carry on with the carefully packed, breakable souvenirs. The poor woman behind me in line wasn't as lucky.

A couple of warnings/suggestions that we learned:

• Download airline apps, then check-in and print your boarding pass before you even get to the airport - or use the eBoarding pass which can be scanned by the gate agent.
• If you travel a lot, you may wish to sign up for TSA Pre✓ ($85 for 5 years), which allows you to speed through security since you don’t need to remove your shoes, laptops, liquids, belts and light jackets.
• Pack your 3-1-1 liquids bag so that you can quickly retrieve it from your back during security.
• If you have prescriptions that are controlled substances (ex. ADHD meds), leave them in their original prescription bottle.
• You can't bring water bottles through security. They'll make you throw them out.
• Eat something before you board. Airplane snacks are feeble and the trip always takes longer than you realize. Our friends didn't, and they were about to digest themselves by the time we finally arrived at our resort in Mexico.
• If you miss your connection due to weather or other acts of God, YOU WON'T get free dinner, hotels, transportation etc. DON'T believe the ticket agents if they say you do. We were nearly fooled by a Delta agent in Mexico who was either ignorant or lying. Thankfully Amber kept asking Delta for clarification as her friend (the bride) had gone through a similar problem last year on a trip to South Africa.
• Depending on your international location, you may have to pay a checked bag fee. We did for our trip back through the Cancun airport.
• Teen Tip: Internet while traveling is often spotty or expensive. Take a break from music and texting by bring a variety of other distractions that are easy to take in and out of bags such as magazines, an adult coloring book, puzzle book, or even try listening to an audiobook (audible.com, hoopladigital.com). Expect delays, plan accordingly.

Mexican All Inclusive Resort

Don't drink the water. DON'T drink the water. DON'T DRINK THE WATER... and that includes NOT brushing your teeth with tap water. You might have heard that many Mexican resorts filter their water, but I wouldn't trust it. We stayed at Sandos Playacar Resort and they provided an office-sized jug of filtered water. One person in our group was a bit sick after he only brushed his teeth using tap water. It's not worth it. One person in our group even put a post-in note on the mirror so he wouldn't forget.

While we're on the subject of drinks, be wary of the free flowing beverages. 1) It's all inclusive so you often don't notice that you are downing those margaritas a bit fast. Playa del Carmen is very hot and humid in July and it's very easy to overdo it with alcohol. 2) My wife is a recovering alcoholic and being at an all inclusive resort for a wedding really tested her sobriety. They have nonalcoholic drink menus, but I was occasionally ridiculed for ordering the nonalcoholic drinks. I even caught two bartenders trying to add alcohol. It is something to be wary of, especially if you have people in your group who don't drink - babies, teens, and recovering alcoholics. I tried to watch drinks being made, and sniffed and tasted each drink before giving them to Amber.

That being said, there was a LOT to do for the whole family. Teens especially would have really enjoyed the Sandos resort as it had two "teens only" venues with games, loud music, food, and teens from all over the world! In fact, one venue with cool video games are for TEENS only, no adults allowed. They also had mini golf, tennis, pools, and of course the beach. Most of the stuff was near the adult type venues so that you could give your teens space to roam, meet tons of others, but still be close enough to keep an "eye" on them. There were many options for food from buffet style to gourmet French and Mexican al a carte restaurants to a cupcake cafe. Breakfast alone was nearly overwhelming with a plethora of fresh fruit, meats, tacos, pancakes, muffins, and 4 different kids of juice. It wasn't too far to walk, but like I said it's very hot and humid. They did have a stretch golf cart shuttle, but it broke down on us twice in the five days we were there. Probably best to walk off dinner and drinks and just accept that you'll be sweating the whole time like everyone else.

A couple more tips:

• Bring travel coffee cups or some other travel containers that can hold both cold and warm drinks. They retail for $30 in the resort store so best to bring your own. The bartenders at the resort will fill these up for you instead of using smaller resort cups that need to be refilled more often.
• The TSA liquid restrictions make it difficult to bring your own sunscreen, but it is worth it to bring several travel sized containers (3.4 oz or less) of sunscreen. Sunscreen was $24/7 oz in the resort store. If you can find one that is a combination sunscreen + insect repellent in a travel size, that would be ideal.
• Bring Pepto-Bismol and Immodium in case you accidentally get sick from something you consume.
• Use WhatsApp as a handy way to coordinate with others in your group. It's easier than trying to do group texting and you can also add pictures and video.
• Don't store your room key next to your phone. It will demagnetize the card, and you'll be locked out of your room like our unfortunate bride and groom were after the wedding.
• Bring plenty of small dollar amounts such as $1s, $5s, and $10s. In the last two trips we've taken, to Costa Rica and Mexico, we were better off just using dollars. However, many might take dollars, but not have change in dollars. We ended up losing $4 because we took a cab ride into town, but didn't have anything less than a $20 for the ride back. I had to convert to Mexican pesos at the resort, and their exchange rate was terrible.
• Before you go, find out which of your credit cards DON'T charge the 3% foreign transaction fee and contact them to let them know you that you are traveling. For us, we used a Capital One VISA travel rewards card. Discovercard is another that doesn't charge the fee, but they aren't widely accepted.
• If possible, book airfare and lodging using that same credit card as they often give you deals on travel insurance, airline/resort disputes (both happened to us!), and foreign concierge services. Those services are only covered if you used that card to pay for the trip.
• Teen tip: have an "oh crap, I can't find my parents" plan. I met a 14 year old panicked teen named Angel, who was locked out of his room (where his phone was) and couldn't find his family. I steered him to guest services at the main meeting place.

Hopefully, I haven't scared you away from traveling with your teens and instead given you some helpful tips. We had a nice time, and the beach wedding was beautiful. I am looking forward to taking our kids on our next trip.

Share your (mis)adventures and suggestions from your summer travels in the comments section!

Road Trip

Surviving Middle School

A weekly blog for middle school students, parents, teachers, coaches,

counselors, staff, administrators, and anyone else interested in coping with life’s challenges

____________________________________________________________________

How is your summer bucket list going? Hopefully you've had fun exploring some random activities from your list. Share your adventures in the comments section. We've tried a few more things from our family lists:

• Something tasty... smoked my first brisket
• Something social... church picnic at Falls Lake
• Something techie... started making an Olympics app
• Something old... watched "Dances with Wolves" movie
• Something crazy... dye hair purple

Road trip... explore your county and state

One theme you'll see in this blog is that education shouldn't just be restricted to the classroom. Learning can and should take place anywhere: home, yard, dinner table, garage, church, trips, etc. Another theme you'll read is that learning is best when it's shared - whether that's with family or friends. Summer is often when the family schedules sync up enough that they can take to the road. Great road trips don't necessarily have to be expensive overnighter's. Day trips to new places can be fun, educational, and relatively inexpensive.

Have you explored your county?
Some of the best road trips are right near home - undiscovered roads, historical landmarks, parks, restaurants. We live in Granville County, NC and there are several great spots to explore. A good starting point might be your county's websites, which often have "what to do in..." parts. Many local towns have their own website and chamber of commerce, both of which may give you ideas of places and businesses you haven't explored before. Local lakes also provide many different summer activities including boating, fishing, swimming, hiking, camping, and biking. There are several lakes within the vicinity of Granville County: Falls Lake, Lake Holt, Kerr Lake, Lake Rogers,

www.granvillemuseumnc.org

www.granvillenc.govoffice2.com

www.visitgranvillenc.com

www.cityofcreedmoor.org

Have you explored your state?
Many states offer suggested "day trips" or unique cultural icons that are only found in your state. VisitNC is our state's gateway for tourists, but even NC residents can benefit from its resources. In North Carolina, if you have an NC museum or NC Zoo membership, often you are granted access to partner organizations without charge. Road trips don't have to necessarily be planned. Just pack up and head any direction toward and unfamiliar town. You can also find unique "onlyinyourstate" places that are educational and memorable. Or take time to actually stop at your state's many roadway historical markers. Summer is also when many state's have their town/county fairs & festivals. Finally, all states have historic homes, farms, and monuments scattered throughout. We often drive right by without taking the time to check them out. No time like the summer!

I'd love to hear about your summer adventures in the comments section.

Summer Bucket List

Surviving Middle School

A weekly blog for middle school students, parents, teachers, coaches,

counselors, staff, administrators, and anyone else interested in coping with life’s challenges

____________________________________________________________________

Summer Bucket List

Ah, summer break! June rolls around and students and teachers alike rejoice when the long school year finally ends. The first week at home is bliss: sleep in, no bedtimes, TV marathons, no homework, no set bathroom breaks. However, by the second and third weeks tensions at home start to mount as siblings bicker, kids complain about being bored, and stay-at-home parents go crazy. Looking for something different? Try a summer bucket list.
  

Fill in the following chart with things you’d like to do this summer. Each family member/friend should complete using a specific color. Include things you like and things that push yourself into new areas. When done, cut out the activities and place them into your “bucket”. When you’re looking for something to do (by yourself, with friends, or family) randomly select an activity from your “bucket”. Colors are used to ensure that each family/friend is gets a chance at their activities being chosen.

My family filled out their charts, and we've already tried out a few of our bucket list items this past week:

• my something new... frisbee golf
• daugher Erin's something techie... The Hunt Library at NC State University
• son Ethan's something quiet... read
• wife Amber's something wet... pool 

Obviously, some items may not be possible right now (ex. Ethan's something adventurous... visit New York City), but it can't hurt to get ideas out there and have something to work toward. Don't worry about doing everything on your bucket list this summer as your family will likely need some fun distractions during next year school. 

Be creative, have fun, and most importantly.... share activities with your family and friends. 

Feel free to share your bucket list adventures in the comments section!